Are Transgender People Gay? Talking About the Misconceptions
Why is There so Much Confusion?
LGBTQ is the umbrella term used for the genders that do not conform to binary sex. Here, “G” is for gay, and “T” is for transgender. This means that both are different.
People ask this question because our society is yet to embrace this gender diversity. Male and female is what the world is divided into. But the fact is, there exist more genders than these.
Let us see how both differ from each other:
|Being gay is a matter of sexual orientation. It refers to men who have a sexual relationship with other men.||Being transgender is a matter of gender identity. It refers to men/women who feel trapped in their birth-assigned gender.|
|Gay men do not have any chromosomal difference. They usually have XY chromosomes.||Trans persons have a different set of chromosomes like XXY, XYY, and so on.|
|Gay men may or may not want to go for sex-reversal surgery.||Trans personals always go for it or at least wish to get their sex-reversed.|
|Gay people usually do not feel trapped in their body.||Trans people constantly feel that they are trapped. That is because they feel alive when they live like the other gender.|
|Gays do not cross-dress.||Trans love to cross-dress. Even the term “cross-dressing” is inappropriate. They love to dress the way they feel like. If they feel like a woman, just having male sexual parts does not stop them.|
|Usually do not suffer from gender dysphoria.||Have numerous cases of gender dysphoria.|
If You Date A Transgender, are You Gay?
This is one of the ridiculous questions ever asked to a trans partner. Let us ask it the other way round. Does dating a vegan make you a vegan? No. Right? In the same way, being transgender and being gay are two different things. When you are dating a transgender, you love them who they are and not for what their sexuality is. You might end up dating only women when you end this relationship. Your partner’s gender identity does not define your sexuality.
So, why is this confusion so common? Let us take you to a case study:
James and Mila have been in a relationship for 5 years. Recently, Mila came out to be transgender. Did this affect their relationship? No. James loved Mila for who she is. Plus, he liked her masculinity. After Mila came out to be a trans, their relationship has grown stronger. While James still feels attracted to Mila, he does not feel so for other men. We can count James as being a trans lover but not a gay. Many couples often face embarrassing and tricky situations. For example, just because your partner turned out to be a transman, your family may label you as gay. You may say that you are straight, but doesn’t that mean you are considering your partner to be a woman? But if you agree that you are gay, then you are lying to yourself. Plus, there is no need to hide your sexuality to fight biases against your partner’s gender. People who are into trans dating face this situation pretty often. They advise proceeding with caution. It is better to say that you are trans-lover than saying, no, I am straight.
People who are into trans dating face social stigma and even get ridiculed. This often forces them into isolation. Imagine a good long year of life being the denial of one’s sexuality, peer and family ridicule, shame, and fear of coming out. Simply coming out as a transgender needs immense courage. So, if you are dating a transperson, always consider these points before jumping to conclusions. It will not hurt to be extra cautious with them. You could be a straight man/woman and still fall for a transman/woman. Your sexual orientation has got nothing to do with the gender identity of your partner.
Should I Try Trans Dating If I Am Gay?
This is not about what others think.
- If you are attracted to a trans person, then you should give it a try. Relationships are more about mutual understanding. Physical intimacy follows later. If you both click despite different gender identities, then nothing should stop you. There are numerous cases of straight couples heading to divorce, and there are equal cases of successful relationships among the LGBTQ community.
- Plus, each trans case is different. One could have medical issues, while the other could have hormonal or psychological factors behind it. It is better to have an open mind rather than being apprehensive of the relationship. So, the choice is yours.
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